Saturday, May 16, 2015

Recovery is beautiful.


Yesterday, I completed my first social work internship (HOLY CRAP, I'M HALF A SOCIAL WORKER!) at Pine St Intensive Residential Substance Abuse Treatment. I started out at a Residential Detox and moved into Pine St. about halfway through. All of this was through Tarrant County's MHMR- Addiction Services. This was assigned to me back in November, and when I first got this assignment.... I was pissed.

Like a little toddler in the Walmart cereal aisle, I shook my fists and stomped my feet at the idea that I would have to spend 5 months dealing with drug addicts and alcoholics. I considered changing, but I was worried that if I traded, my next option would be worse than this one. So I grumbled. And moaned. And griped. And complained. All of my friends got WAY better  placements than me. I felt cheated.

The first day I walked into detox, I probably had a scowl on my face. I parked my grumpy butt in the office of my new supervisor, Todd. He asked me what drew me to Addiction Services, and like a little brat, I was honest. I told him that I wasn't drawn to it, it was picked for me. Ha! He gave me the run down of what happens in Detox and gave me some things to look up. I had explained to him that I didn't think I would do very much good for Addiction Services, as I had no background in addiction. Frankly, I didn't know jack squat. Todd was very patient.

So for the first week, I sat and watched. I got to assess all the new clients, which scared the everloving crap out of me. I sat and watched the groups. Holding my clipboard like a little security blanket, I sat in the group room chairs and listened to the conversations around me. One lady plopped down next to me and asked me what I was about. Another man across from us, a veteran with one leg, sat across from me and leaned forward.

"Are you a drunk?" he asked.

"Uhh.... no."

"Are you a junkie?"

"No."

"Then why are you here?"

I froze. I didn't even know anymore. I wasn't afraid of him, I just didn't want him to know that I was just here because I had to be. "Umm.. I'm an intern. I'm here to learn."

The lady next to me asked me a series of questions, and it was really the first time I had been in a real conversation with a client. It wasn't until the next day that I would learn her life story. It broke my heart. I heard all the client's life stories that day. Sundays were "timeline days" when each client would go through their life and their addiction pattern. Sundays were rough.

Slowly, I grew to enjoy detox. I got good at assessments, I got to know people, and the clients were mostly nice to me. But more than anything, everyone was patient. I heard all my friends complaining about their internships, and I sat there thinking "my internship is pretty sweet, its not half as bad as theirs." My supervisor (Todd) in particular, was VERY patient with me. He sat through my fumbling through questions about addiction that google couldn't answer. He was open and honest with everyone about his own recovery. I heard him ask questions of clients that I couldn't imagine asking. Any time a client would start to have a tantrum and say that they would do what they wanted, he would response "And how is that working out for you?" I was floored.

I had never met a person that was so tough, yet cared so much about his clients. I wanted to be like that... And 6 weeks into my internship, Todd got moved upstairs to the 30 day treatment program, Pine St. And through a series of circumstances in which I desperately sought to learn more about addiction and recovery, I moved to Pine St a month after that.

April was a hard month. I was spending almost all of my time at Pine St. I was on the Men's Unit, and we had a fantastic group of guys there. I loved being there. I was able to learn so much about Chemical Dependency Counseling, I got to watch how Todd worked and wished that I could be half the counselor he is. I got to do Treatment Planning, it was awesome. I woke up every morning (EARLY) so excited to go spend the day at Pine St. I wanted to do everything. I wanted to do ALL the paperwork, make ALL the copies, go to ALL the groups. I wanted to work there. Working there for free was awesome enough. Imagine getting PAID for this?! I started applying for jobs at Pine St. like a crazy person. I loved working at Pine St. for free more than I enjoyed getting paid at my other job! So... like a normal person.... I quit my job.

Yep, I quit my job so that I could do more hours at my unpaid internship. Because that's what people do, right? That was a hard week, but I couldn't be more happy that I did it. I woke up early in the morning to go to Pine St, worked as hard as I could while I was there, then went home and tried to learn as much as I could so I could go back the next day and do better.

I had to complete 400 hours by May 14th, but as of 2 days ago, I had more than 500. I want to work there. I couldn't be more grateful of the change of heart that I had, that could only have come from God Himself. Seeing the growth from the guys on the unit, grieving the relapses, and affirming the discharging guys on their way out, it changed everything. I was blessed. I got to see miracles happen. I got to see a broken man come into detox and watch God begin to put him back together. I got to witness my heart change in my chest. I got to see the Power that comes when a man breaks down to his core and resolve to make a change, just for today.

Addiction and Recovery are scary subjects, but everyone has been touched by it. Everyone knows at least one person who is addicted to a substance. But yet so few are able to see the beauty of recovery. We get so bogged down in the guilt and shame of addiction that we cannot see that recovery is a wonderful possibility. Recovery is hard, and it's messy, and its wild, but it is beautiful. I cannot think of the number of people that have heard someone say "I'm in recovery" and think "Oh, they have a drug problem." Someone in recovery is focusing on a solution. They are protecting their lives, guarding it with everything that they have. It could not be more noble or more honorable to say "I have a problem, and I cannot fix it alone," and take steps to walk away from it. God loves recovery. He grants serenity, courage, and wisdom to those who ask for it. We can no longer be afraid to talk about recovery.

Last week, my last week at Pine St. I got to begin Morning Group by myself. One of the guys asked me when I was done. I told him, "I was done with my hours back in April. They kick me out next week." He asked me "Well, then why are you here?" And I couldn't believe my answer.

"Because I want to be. They haven't kicked me out yet, and they can't get rid of me this easily."

Because they can't. And I will be back.

Thank you to MHMR- Addiction Services. Thank you to all of the staff at Pine St and at Billy Gregory Detox. Thank you to my wonderful husband, who heard me talk 24/7 for the last 5 months. Thank you to my parents, who let me call them on my rides home for virtually the entire year so far. And a very special thank you to Todd Garlington, my supervisor, who shows the love of God to those around him every day.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Make-It Monday: Baked Pesto Chicken

Ok, so I have a couple of people asking me how I do the things that I do like crafts, cooking, baking, etc. I thought I would try to incorporate that into my blog maybe once a week or so, so here is the first segment that I would like to call "Make-It Monday". This segment will feature all sorts of different things, even some things that I may make and sell! So if you ever wanted to know how it was done, you can come here. This will also be a place where I try out different things I see on Pinterest, and let you know if they're worth their salt.

To start us off: Baked Pesto Chicken. I got this chicken recipe off of Pinterest, but you can find the full recipe on Kalyn's Kitchen, if you get confused.When I found it, I was looking for a recipe that was yummy, healthy, cheap, and quick to make. You can find all three in this recipe. All you need are chicken breasts, pesto, and mozzarella (and maybe a smidge of salt).



The recipe calls for 4 chicken breasts, but I could only find packages of 3 for some reason, so I just made sure they were really huge (Pamela Anderson-style chicken). I started by cutting the chicken breasts (Sorry, Pam) into strips and "trim the fat" which in Ginger Spice-speak means, "get rid of all the oogies." I don't like oogies in my chicken, and I especially don't like getting rid of them myself. But, I only gagged once! So in the end, you have strips of oogie-free, Pamela Anderson chicken.


You should spray your baking dish (I have a 13x9, and it worked fine) and then spread the bottom of the dish with your pesto. I just used Buitoni Pesto because I was in a hurry (read as: I'm lazy), but I'm sure you could make your own pesto and use it just as well. After you spread the pesto, lay your strips of chicken in the pan, and cover them with pesto as well! Whoa crazy!




Then cover with foil and put into the oven for maybe 25-ish minutes. You're not looking for it to cook all the way through or it will be overcooked by the time you add the cheese. With that said, take your chicken out of the oven and sprinkle with some low-fat mozzarella cheese, and put it back in the oven for 5 minutes on bake. After baking for 5 more minutes to melt the cheese, switch it over to broil to brown the cheese a little bit (maybe 4-5 minutes).

Then Ta-Da!!! All done!



Chavo and I really liked this recipe, it was fast, quick, and healthy. It maybe took me 45 minutes to make it, including cutting up the chicken to start off with. I'll definitely be making it again. I added a tiny bit of salt to mine, which really enhanced the flavor, but Chavo didn't add anything to his. Definitely a win! I hope you enjoy making this at home. I'm off to go find some more recipes!

See you next whenever!

Friday, January 31, 2014

T-GlF! What being a fake grown-up is like.

Happy Friday! In honor of this warm January Friday (after like, 3 days of bonkers cold weather), I'm here to present another GIF post! A lot of you really enjoyed The Summer in GIFS and The Last 11 Months in GIFS, so I thought I'd bring it back... Mainly because it gives me an excuse to look at GIFs all day long and ahem... not work out.

I've been really enjoying being a fake grown-up. Basically, I don't have a real "big girl" job anymore, I have a bunch of little jobs. I have the craft store, I'm a professional babysitter, and I'm about to be a *gasp!* tutor! Yep, I just signed on to be a part-time one-on-one tutor at a learning center, and that is basically the most mature job I have right now.

Because really, as a babysitter, I spend most my time doing this:


And a whole lot of this:


And when I'm not doing that, I am usually at home doing this:


When I should be working out, but I mostly end up like

And on my freaking instagram feed, twitter feed, and Facebook news feed, everyone keeps talking about graduating, and getting a grown-up job, and buying a house, and having kids and when I see them in public I'm just like:


but when I get home, it's more like:
tantrum photo: Tantrum tumblr_lqjmjaesv21qac925.gif


Because,

image

Because everyone seems to be becoming an adult so easily, and I just can't figure it out!

Until I remember that, hey, I can go make stuff for my store! And then I get all



And pretty much remember that I like being a pretend grown-up. Because big-girl jobs can be really sucky, and I'm glad I get the opportunity to do the jobs that I have, even if I don't make as much as I want to. Because, I've had a big girl job... and it paid really well, but it sucked!!! So now, I get the opportunity to say



Because I may have 3 jobs at any given moment, but I have not sold my soul yet!





So take that! I'm going to go to my teenager jobs, do my thing for a little while, and not be ashamed of my immature reaction to finding out someone brought brownies to church.

http://media.tumblr.com/9c6f7225fd7e196d0d61038af17edcb9/tumblr_inline_mh3zi1Qcyq1rdt1h7.gif
Because people usually just look at Chavo whenever this happens, and he's like



I'm going to go enjoy being a fake grown-up now! Hope you enjoyed this new GIF post, and I'll be back soon!

See you next Whenever!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

What do you want to see?

Hey y'all!

So, I've been thinking I should blog more often. I'm thinking once a week isn't good enough.

Yes, I realize that I do NOT in fact post once a week. But I'm supposed to! And I think that the reason that I don't post with discipline is that I don't do it enough.

You know that feeling after you go to the gym and you think "Wow, that was awful! But I don't want to make it worth nothing, so I guess I'll do it again." Yeah, that's kind of how writing a blog is. The more you do it, the more you WANT to do it.  I've also been working out, and it was Jon Acuff in Quitter who said "Discipline begets discipline." Or he may have stolen that from somewhere else... Oh well, I read it in his book.

But NEVER FEAR! I'm not going to start blathering on about stupid things that no one cares about. I want to know what YOU want, as a reader. All I have to go on is what my Pinterest followers tell me right now, so if you know something you want to see, please either comment below or post it on my facebook wall! All I know right now is:

1.) People like knowing how to make stuff, like crafts and food. I can show you what I know!
2.) People somewhat like when I post about things like "short term missions" and the church. And I do have a good bit to say about it, so I can do that too!
3.) People like guest posts! I guess that means that you want to get rid of me, and I can do that too!
4.) People really like that picture that I posted of my sunburn a long time ago. In fact, a very large portion of my readers have found my blog through that picture. If you look up "ginger sunburn" on google images, you will find that picture of me on the first page. Go figure. Oh well, I can post more ginger stuff too.

Anywhoodles, if you have any ideas to throw at me, leave them in the comments, or post something on my facebook wall, I will try to get back to every comment in a timely manner. If there was something that I have talked about before on my blog that you enjoyed, please let me know so I can get more things out there like that!

Comments are like Blogger's crack. We can't get enough of them. So please let me know what you would like to see here on "Ginger Spice and Everything Nice" so that you can get some more enjoyment out of this blog.

See you next Whenever!


Wednesday, January 8, 2014

I'm A Coward...(but please still be my friend)

I realize that it has been a while.

The reason that I have not posted in so many months was because I had something that needed to be said, something negative, something that spoke ill of some other people, something that could make people see me as kind of obnoxious. And I didn't want to say it. I moved to Texas over a year and a half ago, and I finally have friends, and a community, and a good church family. It's so nice being at church and knowing people again. I just so desperately didn't want to lose friends. 

But if I didn't say anything, it would have made me pointless as a blogger. I'd just be another happy, sunshine, idiot blogger that writes a bunch of pointless, irrelevant fluff that doesn't have anything to do with the price of tea in China. Gag. Just gag. I tried to avoid it, and I succeeded for a little while, but  soon after, every time I opened up my blogger dashboard to write another post, my fingers froze. It got to where I couldn't write anything, except for the one thing that I so desperately didn't want to write.

I prayed about it, I prayed that God would take away the guilt of not being able to write what so desperately needed to be written. But He didn't. I talked to friends, I finally talked to my husband about it (seems like he should have known first... right?), and the conclusion has been drawn that the reason that I cannot avoid writing about this topic is because I really really am SUPPOSED to.

So here I am. And here is the blog I should have written months ago:



As many of you know, Chavo and I went to Guatemala in June, just a few days after I lost my job as a teacher. I posted a little bit about how our trip went, because we were there for almost 3 weeks. To give you a bit of an overview on WHY we were there, we spent the first week on a short-term mission trip with our church. Then, after they left, Chavo and I spent 10 extra days there, seeing friends and family and stuff. The last 5 days were spent with my parents, who joined us for the very end of it.

I talked a little bit about the 2nd part of the trip, the seeing friends and family part, but I didn't really touch on what happened during the mission trip. Honestly, I've been really struggling on how to word what happened on the mission trip. I know, previously, I mentioned that I had been praying for the church members going on the trip to have grace when things don't go our way, and that prayer was answers tenfold. The group that went on the trip was absolutely fabulous. Chavo and I made some new friends, and it was great seeing the group really work together for the people that we were serving. I couldn't have asked for a better group.

That being said: I should have prayed harder for those that were hosting us. This trip to Guatemala was supposed to be more of a "seeking out" trip to see where the church could put its resources in the future, so we weren't sure what to expect from where we were going, which made us rely largely on our hosts.

From the beginning, I felt that the specific mission that was hosting us was more focused on us doing more typical "gringo missionary" stuff. We were to sit and listen to story after story of people that were a part of this mission, most of which were trying to convince us of the lack of funds for their different projects and sub-missions. We also painted their courtyard. From someone who has seen many a church-group come through Guatemala, it was a little maddening to see able-bodied men WATCH us do their jobs and paint (Don't get me wrong, I take no issue with doing physical labor when there are no able-bodied individuals who can do so, like children, handicapped people, or the elderly. But literally, the men who watched us were the maintenance men and groundskeepers, whose work we were taking).

We also went to a place, outside the mission that was hosting us, called the Comedor in San Juan del Obispo (SJO). The Comedor can only be described as a "place where children go to eat dinner". We helped prepare meals and brought food to the people of the SJO that the Comedor served. Unfortunately, the hosting mission, in not so many words, lied to several of the team members and made it sound like the mission had basically done work that they hadn't done, to help the mission. They took credit for work in the Comedor that many other ministries had done, including Chavo's own church in Guatemala. We were amazed at what our ears were hearing.

Chavo and I have been familiar with the Comedor for a while, it has been in place for years by a wonderful couple that literally serves these children out of their homes. When Chavo and I had previously talked about serving in Guatemala long-term, we wanted to partner with this couple. They are truly wonderful and God is going to bless their everloving socks off in Heaven. Chavo and I got to spend some time individually with the couple, where we were given the chance to look at a piece of land that they want to build a good school for the children of SJO. The Comedor was a place that our team truly felt they were helping. SJO is in desperate need for relief, rehabilitation, and development. We know that the Comedor is a good place to serve. I don't want to give people the impression that this trip was the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of ever. We know deep within us that our team was able to serve in a place that would help them briefly, while knowing in the future where to put resources to reinforce their already-great ministry.

There, I said it! And while it may have not made any of you faint from scandal, it was a difficult thing for me to write. I wanted people to know that they needed to be very careful and prayerful over any short-term mission that they go on, or this could happen. This post is meant to remind people to really pray for your hosts before you consider going on a mission there, and do your research. In some places, the best thing you can do is paint and do a VBS, but in other areas, that could be the worst thing you can do! Do research, especially with your team, on how you can be good short-term missionaries to reach your target community specifically. If you don't know how to assess how to best serve your target community, I recommend the book When Helping Hurts. I highly recommend that any team or individual going on missions, short or long-term, read this book.  Unfortunately, I read this book after the trip was over, and I know most people that go on short-term missions trips won't read a book, but some of them may read a blog. People can learn from mistakes, even ones that others have made. I hope that you will learn from my mistake, instead of making the same one.















Wednesday, September 25, 2013

PSA: Weirdos at the gym

Over the last month or two, I've been trying to make myself go to the gym. I don't really like going to the gym, and I can't really deal with it when people say they "LOVE cardio." Mainly because cardio makes me hate everything. I literally do cardio to not die of diabetes or heart disease. I run because I imagine Death is chasing me. 

Chavo and I go to the YMCA. It's close to our apartment, it's cheaper than the other gyms, and we can typically avoid people that are super in-shape that judge us with their eyes. We are trying to go 3 times a week, so that the membership fee doesn't become a fat-tax, but we haven't gone this week so far, and I went by myself. Anyway, all that to say, I went to the gym today, but I had to psych myself up for about an hour to go.

It was pretty empty, there was just one other guy on one of their 20 treadmills. So I got on another treadmill a reasonable distance away. While I am not a man, I do know urinal etiquette, and treadmill etiquette is pretty similar.

Then there he was... I couldn't see him yet...

But I could smell him.

A man... I don't want to call him "old," because that seems mean. I'll just call him "retired." Because that isn't an opinion, it's a statement of fact. This retired man came into the gym, wearing a LOT of cologne. And got on the treadmill right. by. me.

At this point, there are three of us on treadmills. Before this man walked up, there were 18 treadmills that were totally free. But, he picked the one right next to mine. I had to breathe through my mouth because of the cologne that he had on. I was running and couldn't breathe through my nose. It epicly sucked.

I considered moving to another treadmill, but it would have been super obvious I was moving away from him. I didn't want to be a jerk to this man who obviously didn't know proper gym etiquette, it wasn't a cause for panic yet. I could still breathe through my mouth.

Then, he kept looking at my treadmill, very obviously. Now, I know that I like to sneak a peek at my neighbor's treadmills just to make sure I'm not too much of an out-of-shape loser. After all, if we get chased by a bear, I don't have to run faster than the bear, just faster than you. So I let this slide. However, my mind has already given this man 2 strikes. Too much cologne, and obvious staring at my treadmill are annoying enough. At least I have my earbuds in, so I can just pretend that this man isn't bugging the crap out of me, and just imagine how I'm going to tweet about this later.

The cologne smell is getting out of hand. As I type this, I want to take about 12 boiling showers, because I can still smell this cologne in my hair. Gross. It smells like an old church pew that has been marinating in Bengay and stale TV dinners.  And this man keeps staring at me, so I know I must be mouth-breathing too loud, but he's the jerkwad that chose to wear his nasty man-stench to the gym. Like, seriously, I barely even shower before I go to the gym. Deodrant smell is expected. Not this onslaught of smell that was from the treadmill on my right.

After my workout, I went to the stretching area, only to see this man two minutes later, looking at me. He then got on the stretching machine right next to me AND TRIED TO TALK TO ME. He asked me my name, but I pretended not to answer him.  This man isn't ignorant of gym etiquette, he's a creepazoid!! Dude, I'm not wearing makeup, I haven't showered, and you have no business talking to me right now. I have my earbuds in, I clearly don't feel like being all "Chatty Cathy" with you. You're older than my awesome grandfather, and you wear too much cologne! At that point, my manners flew out the window. I got off the stretching machine and ran out of the gym. Stupid cologne man.


I know that many of you know proper treadmill etiquette, but it seems that it is not common knowledge. So allow me to share.

1.) Do not get on a treadmill directly next to someone that you do not know, unless it is unavoidable. When in doubt, leave at least 1 or 2 treadmills between you.

2) Perfume and cologne are not only unnecessary, but a sensory insult to those around you at the gym. Your sweat makes it even worse. Deodrant however, is demanded.

3) If someone around you had in earbuds, and you do not know them, striking up a conversation is annoying.

4) Someone people don't feel like being hit on at the gym. In fact, I don't know any people who LIKE being hit on at the gym. But generally, if there is a girl that is not wearing any makeup and clearly hasn't showered, don't hit on her! Just say no.

Anyway, that's my public service announcement for this month. Treadmill etiquette, learn it, live it.

The more you know.


Thursday, September 12, 2013

Can't figure my life out

Lately, I've been lazy.

I mean, I've been doing stuff, but only because I sort of feel like it.

I haven't worn makeup in 3 days. I haven't woken up before 9 since Saturday, and the only reason for that was because I had a craft show to do. And before that Saturday, I probably haven't woken up before 9 for about two weeks. I haven't showered before one in about two weeks. I'm not depressed, I'm really not. This crafting thing has been so much fun for me. The craft show that I did last Saturday was so much fun, I'm looking forward to the next one. But I just have been so messy lately.

So, I was in Michael's yesterday, and I was just wandering around, looking for ideas for my craft booth for thiscoming Saturday. Of course, one of the employees was making sure this unshowered, sweatshirt-wearing chick wasn't going to shoplift all their stuff and sell it for drugs. She asked if she could help me find anything, and I laughed and said "sorry, no, I can't figure my life out." She laughed, and said "when you figure your life out, let me know, then maybe we can't figure my life out, next."

I laughed, and I wandered a little longer. We talked a little bit about some things that I could add to the stuff in my shop, and she had no idea. So we wandered together. I found some stuff, and I'm sure it'll go over really well this Saturday. And I really hope that she wasn't just following me around because she was afraid I was going to hide all those items in my sweatshirt and run, but who really knows?

This crafting thing... I really love it. I'm having a blast selling my stuff, but I'm not going to lie, it's been a little discouraging. People really seem to like my stuff, which is fun, but I'm just so afraid of failing. Its been weird, liking my job so much, that I'm afraid that I'm going to fail and have to go back to a job that hates me. I like sitting on the floor, in my jammies, with a hot glue gun and a xacto knife, watching old episodes of trashy TV shows that have long since ended.

I'm not sure if I'm asking for help. Maybe I am. I just want this shop to work so bad, I can feel it in my heart. I know I love this. I love making things, and baking things, and glueing things, and painting things. I just want it to work so I don't have to do a job I don't like and never be home. I'll take all the hot-glue singed fingers in the world to keep this going.

So, if you would like to see what I'm all about, go to www.gingerspiceandeverythingnice.com and see my shop. My new items this week are leather cuff bracelets made from baseballs. They're so cute! And if you're in the DFW area, I'll be in Denton Community Market this Saturday morning. So come say hi!

See you next week!