Little Change of Pace

That's right everyone, its time for a little change.

Because we're waiting (waitiiiiiinng) waiting on the world to change. Well, not so much the world, but definitely what I normally do with these blog posts. It will be a "Serious Wednesday" a la Jon Acuff (google it). But its not quite Wednesday. And calling something a "Manic Monday" anything is just cliche and silly for something as usually fun and upbeat as this blog. Soooo.. I will just call it a:

"Deal-with-me-for-just-one-minute-and-I-promise-I-will-be-funny-again-soon" post. Now doesn't that roll off the tongue nicely?

You see, I haven't posted a blog in a few weeks. In fact, when I typed in blogspot, my computer (that remembers everything) didn't even fill in "blogspot" for me. And it should have. But why didn't it?

Because things have really sucked lately. Royally sucked.

Bypassing the medical issues that have gone on (don't worry, I'm fine) and some of the other things. I have been really sad. And when I say sad, I mean quite pathetic and emotional. Feeling inadequate and left-out only tips the iceberg of the crazy mess that I've made myself.  I find myself spending most of my daily life finding reasons to be upset. Because it can't really be me. It has to be something else. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I'm cold. That guy said something stupid. That person hurt my feelings. I got a bad grade on my final. I'm stressed.

No one wants to be funny when they're sad. Its hard to put on a game face when you just want to crawl under a rock. You need to look decent and presentable for public viewing.

To be honest, I have no idea where I am going with this entire blog post. I really didn't want it to be just a sad whine-fest before I hit "publish". I was just kind of hoping that God would inspire me to come up with a moral to this little story.

But see, I am already presentable for God's viewing. I don't have to put on a game face to be face-to-face with Jesus. I am going through this for a reason. And God may or may not have been testing me with it, but He will definitely get me through it. He gave me a wonderful Mom and boyfriend who have been worried about me this week. He gave me the ability to get up from the dirt. And he gave me His Son to die for my salvation.

That's a lot to ask for. But I didn't have to. Because God loves me now matter how crazy or upset or angry I can get.

That sounds like a pretty good moral to this story. I'll try not to be gone so long next time. And then I'll be funny again.

The Past School Year

So its finals week, which means I should be studying obsessively. But I'm not... I'm slowly waiting for the tylenol to kick in and letting the sweat on my clothes dry. Its a hot May day in Louisiana, which means I get to get 2 outfits dirty per day. One for the morning, and one for the afternoon!

Yeah, letting you know my wardrobe schedule and my proper glandular function was not the purpose of this blog. This quick little post was about what has gone on this school year. Because while in May, it feels like the 2 semesters went by very quick, they seemed to take forever when it was February. So lets just see what all has happened since last fall.

Got back from 2nd Guatemala trip.
Talked about said trip for about... forever.
Chavo met my parents.
Parents loved the Chavo.
Got a job at Starbucks.
Worked obsessively.
Tried to take Chemistry.
Church drama.
Dropped Chemistry.
Took 2 night classes.
Got to know the Chavo.
Helped the Chavo with seminary stuff.
Took a spanish placement test and figured out I could graduate early.
Decided to go back to Guatemala for winter break.
Raised money obsessively.
Made good friends with my Life Group girlies.
Bugged my parents about Guatemala.
Begged Chavo to come to Guatemala with me.
Chavo saw his sister get married in Guatemala, and therefore HAD to be there while I was there.
Trip #3.
Saw El Zapotillo for the first time.
Heard real, live, monkeys in the wild for the first time.
Learned spanish (for the most part).
Changed my major.
Obsessed about Guatemala some more.
Quit Starbucks.
Got a job babysitting.
Drama.
18 hours of class a week.
Wrote 7 papers in one semester.
Chavo and I fought a lot, and then we made up.
Got to see Chavo in seminary twice!
Chavo came to the hometown a few times.
Chavo and I went to New Orleans.
Silly thyroid stuff happened.
Started the Insanity Workout program.
Quit the Insanity Workout program.
Did more biology homework.
Chavo went to New York City without me.
Wrote 3 major papers in a week.
And now... finals.

Wow, that's a lot for just 9 months. I feel productive now! What happened to you for the last 9 months? For real, I want to know! I promise I'll read the comments after finals are over... Maybe.

Most embarrassing moment of my life

For those that are friends of mine on Facebook, you know that the most embarrassing thing happened to me today. It will rival any embarrassment you've ever felt. No one has been more embarrassed than I am right now. Its worse than America's Funniest Home Videos, People of Walmart, or anything that Lamebook that can ever come up with.

Well, today, I decided to dress up for my last day of classes. I curled my hair, painted my toenails, and put on a pretty sundress for classes. A pretty, white sundress.

I have a history quiz today, so roommate and I decided to study for said quiz. We sat in the library, I drank a Diet Coke, and we stayed there until history started. When it was time to leave, I had finished my Diet Coke, and we left the library to go to class. We were walking through the quad (a big open area, full of students, for those who don't know what a "quad" is), and I had to burp. It was right behind my throat. Roommate and I were laughing about it. I tried to shake it out of my esophagus, so I gallopped and jumped around the quad whilst walking to class. But it was all for naught.

But that was when the most embarrassing, horrible, terrible event occurred.

While walking (with a few people watching, I might add), I felt it.

It was on my behind... A breeze.

A breeze on my behind...

I looked around, and the back of my sundress had been pinned under my backpack from my gallopping and jumping. My whole, wide butt was exposed for the whole, wide quad to see.

and I started laughing out of humiliation. Roommate was confused. I took off running (after pulling my dress down) and ran from the crowd behind me, now blinded by my lily-white tuchus. And the laughing... inspired my burping.

So there I was, laughing, belching, nearly crying while tightly pulling my dress around my knees...

There is a moral to this story, but the humiliation is still too fresh for me to find it. I'm sure its something to do with pride and vanity. But I'm still too red-faced to care. I hesitate to even write this to you. But see, the thing is, that's what I'm all about, as you read in the last post. I laugh at myself to allow others to laugh with me.

And now, I would kindly like all of you to write what you think in the comments section, and never mention this again...

Being Funny

From the 8th grade to graduating high school, I was in a life group (fancy name for Sunday School for all those who don't understand new, hip, Christian lingo). It was aptly named the All Girls Life Group and was put on by 4 of the most Christlike, coolest ladies around.

Anyway, it was through this group that I truly developed as a Christian. There would be days where we would be deep in the Word, soaking it all in. There would be days where we would sit around and talk, and there were days where we just went to McDonald's and hang out.

Now, I am a very serious person. Ask anyone from my high school. I can be very serious (or another word that I'm not going to use on here, but it rhymes with "witchy") But in those 5 years in that life group, I realized something:

Sometimes, really dumb things happen.
Sometimes, really crazy things happen.
Sometimes, really funny things happen.
And I like to tell people about it, but I don't like when people laugh at me.

You ever do something stupid and have people laugh at you? They always say "Oh, we're not laughing at you, we're laughing WITH you."

Everyone who has ever heard that saying thinks the same thing: "But I'm not laughing." Now, I do a lot of dumb things. Often. And while sometimes I forget it. I found a solution to that problem. Its not to tell them to stop laughing, because that makes it worse... But laugh at yourself.

What do you feel when people laugh at you? Shame. Shame is classic. Shame has been around since Genesis. The first thing that Adam and Eve felt after sinning was shame. But before, in a land of paradise, we weren't meant for shame. Shame is saved for sin, not for that time that you accidently fell down the stairs and landed in the arms of a very, very cute TA. Or the time you had to mime diarrhea to Spanish-speaking-only ladies...

Some of the most interesting people I know can be called 'shameless'. And they're all funny, when they're shameless for the right reason. I believe a lack of shame is the source of most humor. Those who are unashamed to be themselves are the funnest. Those who embrace the humor of life are those who can share it.

And one day, in the 10th grade, I decided I wanted to be funny. That's right. I made a conscious decision to be funny. But it required practice. Luckily for me, no one generally listens to 10th graders. So I had plenty of time to practice my comedic act.

That life group was where I got a chance to spread my creative wings with an audience. I used my love for storytelling to make friends. And like my father, I can tell stories with quite an amount of gusto. Well, one Sunday, in that class, I was telling one ridiculous story about something crazy that God did, and I heard it.

"Oh, Valerie, you're so crazy. You just crack me up."

It was through that where I realized how much I love to cheer people up. I genuinely enjoy it. See, laughing is a funny thing (pun unintended). I think its one of the funniest noises that God created. And He created a trillion different laughs. It burns calories too! Ever laugh so hard that your abs hurt? Its awesome. You should.

Today, I challenge you to find the humor in your day. Think funny thoughts. Wonder why we can't park in handicapped parking spaces, but we can go in handicapped bathroom stalls. Wonder why 12:00 am confuses us so badly. 12 am? Is that midnight or noon? Its mightnight. Which one? The one before the day or afterwards?

Find the humor in your day. And let me know what you find.

Fun times with El Chavo

Well, I'm back. I put off doing a blog the day after I got back to hang out with my super-awesome family. Got to get lunch with Mama, my Aunt, and my Mimi. It was pretty snazzy.

But this last weekend was awesome. I left college at 11:30 with my snacks to make myself feel better about eating healthy.

And drove the 7 hours to the Seminary. As soon as I got there, Chavo and I headed downtown because there was an Art Festival. We got pizza and watched Better than Ezra perform!

That Saturday, we spent the ENTIRE day at Six Flags. We rode a bunch of the big roller coasters. We rode the Titan, which was both of our favorites. The Superman ride scared me to death, so after that, we left. But like I said, we were there all day (from 10 am to 5 pm). And being the absentminded redhead that I am, I forgot sunscreen and got veeeeeeery sunburned.

See that super-white line on my left shoulder? Yeah, that's skin. And before you fuss at me, 4 other people already have: Chavo, Mama, Mimi, and my doctor. Yeah, the last one was really grumpy at me about my sunburn. But hey! I forgot. It happens. You ever forget? It happened to me.

That night, I didn't want to move anywhere or touch anything, so we went to Barnes & Noble. And I sat there and read about 10 magazines. And it was glorious.

And wanting to be able to spread out, I slept on an air mattress in the middle of the living room of a very awesome lady who also does missions in Guatemala! She was really cool to talk to. She's also in the Master Chorale with the Chavo. I got the privilege of watching them sing in a Master Chorale concert on Sunday night, but I'm getting too ahead of myself.

Sunday morning, we went to church. There was a painter there that painted a really awesome mural of the Resurrection. I wish I could remember his name, and I really wish I could tell you more about the painting. But I was just coming out of a bout of sun poisoning and don't remember much about that morning. But afterwards, we got fajitas for lunch and relaxed until the concert that night.

The concert was about 45 minutes away from the seminary. So Chavo, nice lady that housed me, and I, went to this "Whites Chapel". It was the biggest, whitest chapel I've ever seen. It was in a Methodist church, and it was gigantic. However, finding parking was a nightmare. I dropped off nice lady and Chavo at the front so that they wouldn't be late to rehearse, and I took off to find parking. I must have made 2 laps around the church before I found "The Land of Milk and Parking".

And when I walked into the church, I walked directly into a handbell rehearsal. Perfect.

But the concert.... was incredible.

They did Mozart's Requiem and all sorts of things. It was awesome. It was all in Latin, and my tuchus fell asleep, but I was very impressed. They're going to New York in May, and it's going to be SAH-WEET.

Look at the Chavo in his snazzy tuxedo!

But it was an awesome weekend. I even got to see Chavo play his trumpet in his Master class before I left for my parents' house. It was really cool. And after the class and lunch at Central Market (DELICIOUSNESS!!!!!) I left Ft. Worth and said my goodbyes. And I also got to see this gem of an awkward billboard.

What a great deal on being cremated?!

The weekend was great, and I got to do some pretty awesome things. My sunburn is still healing, but its all good. I'm ready to go back!

P.S. I almost forgot to tell y'all. Maybe you won't find this near as cool as I did, but there's this one gas station in Longview that I always stop at. Its the Texas Smokehouse. Its kind of the coolest gas station ever. Not only does it have a Sonic and sell beef jerky of about a billion flavors, it has this.

 "So what, Ginger Spice?" you're probably thinking. Well, that delicious red bottle on the right is Rosa de Jamica. The most delicious tea ever. And I've never been able to find it bottled in the US. That white bottle on the left is Horchata, which is pretty awesome too. But rosa de jamaica is the best. By far.

Gummy Vitamins and Floss: The Day I Became an Adult

Passively justifying posting 3 days in a row, I probably won't blog for the next few days. Because I'm visiting my boyfriend, the Chavo. And for those who don't know what a Chavo is, I suggest you go youtube "Chavo del Ocho". You might need subtitles, but its the funniest really old TV show there is. It just also happens to be in spanish.

Chavo is in the seminary right now, so we got a nice little long-distance relationship going. We get to see each other about once a month. This weekend is just particularly exciting because I get to see one of his Master Chorale Concerts! Yippee! If I didn't have to be dressed up, I would totally paint a white t-shirt with "Master Chorale Groupie" on it (just because I love irony, and calling myself a groupie of a Seminary Choir would fulfill my irony quota for the week).

Anyway, today is something that I have to tell you about me. I sometimes like to get out of responsibilities because I'm still technically a teenager. Just a few more months left before I turn 20! Santas vacas, Batman!
So, yes, I'm 19. And Chavo likes to make fun of me when I don't do things that adults should do. Here's an actual conversation that we've had:

Me: Do you floss?
Chavo: Yes, why?
Me: You do? Like, every day?
C: Yes, everyday. You don't?
Me: No! I'll never floss. Ever. I've even straight-up told my dentist that I will never start flossing.
C: Oh, you should. You really should always floss. Every day. You can skip a day brushing your teeth, but don't ever skip flossing. I can tell the different when I don't do it.
Me: No, you can't.
C: No, really! You can tell!

This conversation went on for a long time. But for the sake of brevity, I'll tell you that that night, I took boyfriend at his word and I flossed! And guess what, my gums bled. Like, a lot. It made me want to go spit blood on his shoes in a defiant "Look what you made me do!" kind of loogy. But I'm a little more mature than that. So instead, I whined for about 10 minutes. But I flossed that night. And the next night. And the next night.

And I'll have you know, I have flossed every day since then. And I'm pretty sure that was well over a month ago. Aren't you proud?

Well, in a moment of feeling proud of making it to maturity (like its a pretty picture you hang on the fridge), I went and bought vitamins. Chavo suggested I get them because they're supposedly GOOD FOR YOU! Ah, bollocks. I don't believe him. But I saw the perfect compromise.

One-A-Day gummy vitamins. The perfect combination of adulthood and immaturity. Its like a molding of Chavo and myself into a perfect little strawberry-shaped gummy. And I take them every day. And they're yummy. Maybe one day I'll graduate to real "pill vitamins". But hey, baby steps, people!!! I'm already flossing, what more do you want?

Taking steps toward maturity, but I'll never truly get there. After all, we have to grow old, but we never have to grow up! And like a true Southern woman, I'm going to fight both of those tooth-and-nail!

Bucket Lists

Do you have a bucket list? My roommate and I got in an argument about whether or not everyone has a bucket list. She doesn't. I do.

I like to think that anyone who saw the movie The Bucket List was so inspired by such an awesome movie (despite the fact that icky song "Say What You Need to Say" is in the soundtrack) to do a bucket list of their own. And for those who are unfamiliar with what a bucket list is (how is it, living under a rock? What do you do when it rains?), it is a list of the things you want to do before you die or "kick the bucket." Some of us got the idea to make a bucket list from the movie A Walk to Remember. And then there were some who got the idea from the 100th episode of Touched by an Angel (which is a truly amazing episode. I cry like a baby every time).

In preparation for this blog, I tried to find my bucket list. But I'm pretty sure I left it on the nightstand beside my bed at my parents' house. My parents once made the joke that I better keep adding to the list, but its pretty long. I know there are at least 50 things. And I'm pretty sure I added a 2nd page last year, but I digress.

A few things on my bucket list that I remember off the top of my head are:
1) Learn a different language
2) Bungee Jump
3) Skydive
4) Read the bible cover to cover
5) Go to Italy, Kenya, and Australia (these were all separate, but for the sake of space, have been combined)

Those are just a few things that I haven't done yet. Granted, learning the different language is coming along, and so is the reading the Bible thing, but the other ones I haven't done.

The reason that bucket lists have been on my mind today is because I really want to add something to it. And that is: Go to India. Hearing about missionaries there has really been amazing these past few days. And personally, as chicken as I am, I really want to go. So, I'm adding it to the Bucket List as soon as I get to my parents' house in a few days.

And with that said, I will not make this post as long as my first one. And because I enjoy feedback, I'm leaving you with a question:

What is on your bucket list? Or, if you had a bucket list, what would you want on it?