PSA: Weirdos at the gym

Over the last month or two, I've been trying to make myself go to the gym. I don't really like going to the gym, and I can't really deal with it when people say they "LOVE cardio." Mainly because cardio makes me hate everything. I literally do cardio to not die of diabetes or heart disease. I run because I imagine Death is chasing me. 

Chavo and I go to the YMCA. It's close to our apartment, it's cheaper than the other gyms, and we can typically avoid people that are super in-shape that judge us with their eyes. We are trying to go 3 times a week, so that the membership fee doesn't become a fat-tax, but we haven't gone this week so far, and I went by myself. Anyway, all that to say, I went to the gym today, but I had to psych myself up for about an hour to go.

It was pretty empty, there was just one other guy on one of their 20 treadmills. So I got on another treadmill a reasonable distance away. While I am not a man, I do know urinal etiquette, and treadmill etiquette is pretty similar.

Then there he was... I couldn't see him yet...

But I could smell him.

A man... I don't want to call him "old," because that seems mean. I'll just call him "retired." Because that isn't an opinion, it's a statement of fact. This retired man came into the gym, wearing a LOT of cologne. And got on the treadmill right. by. me.

At this point, there are three of us on treadmills. Before this man walked up, there were 18 treadmills that were totally free. But, he picked the one right next to mine. I had to breathe through my mouth because of the cologne that he had on. I was running and couldn't breathe through my nose. It epicly sucked.

I considered moving to another treadmill, but it would have been super obvious I was moving away from him. I didn't want to be a jerk to this man who obviously didn't know proper gym etiquette, it wasn't a cause for panic yet. I could still breathe through my mouth.

Then, he kept looking at my treadmill, very obviously. Now, I know that I like to sneak a peek at my neighbor's treadmills just to make sure I'm not too much of an out-of-shape loser. After all, if we get chased by a bear, I don't have to run faster than the bear, just faster than you. So I let this slide. However, my mind has already given this man 2 strikes. Too much cologne, and obvious staring at my treadmill are annoying enough. At least I have my earbuds in, so I can just pretend that this man isn't bugging the crap out of me, and just imagine how I'm going to tweet about this later.

The cologne smell is getting out of hand. As I type this, I want to take about 12 boiling showers, because I can still smell this cologne in my hair. Gross. It smells like an old church pew that has been marinating in Bengay and stale TV dinners.  And this man keeps staring at me, so I know I must be mouth-breathing too loud, but he's the jerkwad that chose to wear his nasty man-stench to the gym. Like, seriously, I barely even shower before I go to the gym. Deodrant smell is expected. Not this onslaught of smell that was from the treadmill on my right.

After my workout, I went to the stretching area, only to see this man two minutes later, looking at me. He then got on the stretching machine right next to me AND TRIED TO TALK TO ME. He asked me my name, but I pretended not to answer him.  This man isn't ignorant of gym etiquette, he's a creepazoid!! Dude, I'm not wearing makeup, I haven't showered, and you have no business talking to me right now. I have my earbuds in, I clearly don't feel like being all "Chatty Cathy" with you. You're older than my awesome grandfather, and you wear too much cologne! At that point, my manners flew out the window. I got off the stretching machine and ran out of the gym. Stupid cologne man.


I know that many of you know proper treadmill etiquette, but it seems that it is not common knowledge. So allow me to share.

1.) Do not get on a treadmill directly next to someone that you do not know, unless it is unavoidable. When in doubt, leave at least 1 or 2 treadmills between you.

2) Perfume and cologne are not only unnecessary, but a sensory insult to those around you at the gym. Your sweat makes it even worse. Deodrant however, is demanded.

3) If someone around you had in earbuds, and you do not know them, striking up a conversation is annoying.

4) Someone people don't feel like being hit on at the gym. In fact, I don't know any people who LIKE being hit on at the gym. But generally, if there is a girl that is not wearing any makeup and clearly hasn't showered, don't hit on her! Just say no.

Anyway, that's my public service announcement for this month. Treadmill etiquette, learn it, live it.

The more you know.

Can't figure my life out

Lately, I've been lazy.

I mean, I've been doing stuff, but only because I sort of feel like it.

I haven't worn makeup in 3 days. I haven't woken up before 9 since Saturday, and the only reason for that was because I had a craft show to do. And before that Saturday, I probably haven't woken up before 9 for about two weeks. I haven't showered before one in about two weeks. I'm not depressed, I'm really not. This crafting thing has been so much fun for me. The craft show that I did last Saturday was so much fun, I'm looking forward to the next one. But I just have been so messy lately.

So, I was in Michael's yesterday, and I was just wandering around, looking for ideas for my craft booth for thiscoming Saturday. Of course, one of the employees was making sure this unshowered, sweatshirt-wearing chick wasn't going to shoplift all their stuff and sell it for drugs. She asked if she could help me find anything, and I laughed and said "sorry, no, I can't figure my life out." She laughed, and said "when you figure your life out, let me know, then maybe we can't figure my life out, next."

I laughed, and I wandered a little longer. We talked a little bit about some things that I could add to the stuff in my shop, and she had no idea. So we wandered together. I found some stuff, and I'm sure it'll go over really well this Saturday. And I really hope that she wasn't just following me around because she was afraid I was going to hide all those items in my sweatshirt and run, but who really knows?

This crafting thing... I really love it. I'm having a blast selling my stuff, but I'm not going to lie, it's been a little discouraging. People really seem to like my stuff, which is fun, but I'm just so afraid of failing. Its been weird, liking my job so much, that I'm afraid that I'm going to fail and have to go back to a job that hates me. I like sitting on the floor, in my jammies, with a hot glue gun and a xacto knife, watching old episodes of trashy TV shows that have long since ended.

I'm not sure if I'm asking for help. Maybe I am. I just want this shop to work so bad, I can feel it in my heart. I know I love this. I love making things, and baking things, and glueing things, and painting things. I just want it to work so I don't have to do a job I don't like and never be home. I'll take all the hot-glue singed fingers in the world to keep this going.

So, if you would like to see what I'm all about, go to www.gingerspiceandeverythingnice.com and see my shop. My new items this week are leather cuff bracelets made from baseballs. They're so cute! And if you're in the DFW area, I'll be in Denton Community Market this Saturday morning. So come say hi!

See you next week!

Spare the rod, spoil the child

Hey, remember the time that I opened up a store and then promptly fell off the face of the earth for two weeks? Yeah, lets pretend for just a minute that that didn't happen. Because I want to share something really really cool.

Let me start off by saying that the story I'm about to tell is 100% true and did actually happen with me present:

So, once upon a time, I was sitting in a sermon, in a country/state that shall remain nameless, listening to a preacher that shall also remain nameless because... bless his freaking heart. In this sermon, he read from Proverbs 13:24 KJV "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Yeah, we usually think of that verse as the "spare the rod, spoil the child verse".

Anyways, this nameless pastor used that verse to say that spanking your children with objects is not only biblical, but demanded by God as punishment. Yeah, I wish I were making this up. You know what else I wish I was making up? He brought CHILDREN up on the stage, as he had a large cane in his hand, and asked them individually "If you were disobedient, and I hit you with this cane, would you disobey again?" And as each child gave an obvious, timid "no," the pastor looked into the congregation with a smug grin, knowing that his way was right and we were all stupid and could go crawl in a ditch. Yeah, there wasn't a person in the audience that wasn't thoroughly uncomfortable during this sermon. It was all people talked about in church for the next several weeks.


The rest of this blog post is internet research, speculation, and a hearty dose of opinion. So put your big girl panties on, because I'm about to tear that terrifying preacher a new..... uhh... patch in his blue jeans. Because I've had my coffee this morning, and I'm ready to kick some hineys. I'm not going to try to delude myself into thinking I'm some sort of theological mastermind. I'm just really good at googling stuff.

So, I looked it up (Thanks Google, who needs an Masters in Divinity when you have the INTERNET!) and I saw that the Hebrew word for "rod" in Proverbs 13:24 is "shebet". Other parts of the Bible use "shebet" as a term for a "shepherd's rod."

Get ready for the jump.

I would like to place some speculation and say that the "shebet" in Proverbs 13:24 is a shepherd's rod. Whoa, hey now!

Guess what else I learned? There are five ways that a shepherd uses his rod.

1) A symbol of guardianship over the sheep.
2) To ward off invaders or animals attacking the flock.
3) The rod could be thrown very far, on the ground next to a wandering sheep, startling it back into the flock.
4) Counting (sheep were counted as they passed under the rod)
5) The rod was also used to part the wool of a sheep so that they shepherd could check for infections or wounds

The rod was not actually meant to hit the sheep! To hit the sheep with the rod would make the sheep both fear and hate the rod and the shepherd. It's a little hard to watch over a flock of sheep when they are afraid of you or hate you. So the rod was used for Authority, Security, Guardianship, Protection, and Care. Hm..

Get ready for another jump.

This verse is not supposed to be a verse on punishment. This is a verse on how to take care of your kids! Show them who the parent is, protect them from danger, warn them from trouble, watch over them, and make sure they're healthy. Obviously if you refuse to do those things, there is something weird about how you feel about your children. If you don't spank your kids, it doesn't mean that you don't love them.

This is not some sort of anti-spanking stance, I still don't know how I feel about it yet. But puh-leeeeease don't try to justify spanking your kids with this verse. It doesn't make sense. Find another reason. And if this verse was your only reason for spanking your kids, you may have a lot of thinking to do about punishment.

Take that, What's-His-Name!

I may send him this link... But that would be witchy. Muahaha!

See you next W...whenever. Maybe next week. Maybe not. It's a mystery.

I'm going to go find a stick to beat my dogs with now.