140 Characters of Secrecy

Today, I wanted to write a really long tweet, but then I remember that that's a blog.

But anyway, yeah, I'm on twitter. And I have a confession to make about WHY I like twitter. I know very few people on it.

Twitter, among my group of friends and hometown, isn't largely popular. Facebook, however, is. I have 535 friends on facebook, and 35 twitter followers. I say things on twitter that I would never in a million-billion-gazillion years put on facebook. Why? Because there are several people on my facebook that can't take a joke. I don't talk about twitter a lot because I don't want a bunch of people to have access to the 140 characters of snark that I sometimes post whenever I'm grumpy. And because both this blog and twitter are safe places for me to say what I want, I do.

I would never put "Going to the doctor. What panties do I have that say 'I'm fun and young, but not a slut," on facebook. It talks about panties for goodness sakes! My mom doesn't even like when I say the word "procrasturbation" on here. Sometimes my twitter blows up into segments of 140 characters of snark that facebook is not a safe enough environment to post.

Twitter is my dirty, little, not-so-secret. I can't behave everywhere!

A no-win embarrassment

So you remember how I'm (as a blogger) supposed to be transparent and tell you when I'm imperfect and when embarrassing things happen to me. Yeah, this is one of those times. And no, it has nothing to do with the series I'm trying to do.

This happened this morning.

I had my international law class today with my favorite professor. This guy is hilarious. He's funny, he makes fun of everyone, and you may often wonder if he's allowed to say the things that he does. He's from Cameroon, so he's even worse with international students. I refer to him (by the people who have never had him) as my "Crazy, funny, incredibly politically incorrect professor". I even had Chavo come with me to one of his classes so he would know what one of this guy's classes is like.

I take notes for this professor. As in, he takes the notes from my class, writes down what I may have missed, and uses it for his next class so that he knows the same things were said in both classes.

And so, after class today, I went to hand him my notebook and told him that I'll be missing class on Friday. He asked me if I was going to the football game, and I said no, that I have a doctor's appointment on Friday morning (Friday was the only time I could get in, and I have to go home to do it, so yeah).

What was his response? "Oh, your Guatemalan fiance knock you up?"

After shrieking "NOOOOOO!" he laughed his head off. "It could happen!" he said.

How do I respond to that? There is not a single way I could respond that would be a good rebuttal to that. Because no matter what my response is, I am talking about my sex life. I did not realize this until I said "No, it couldn't!" Yeeeeah. Ginger Spice just outed herself as a vv---vv--vvvirgin, to her professor, in front of several students (who I can only hope to dear sweet Jesus that they weren't conscious of what was going on).

Professor? He kept laughing. I promise, he's a good guy. He just gets good laughs out of shocking people. (He once asked a classmate from Nicaragua if he was tired from working at Taco Bell. ) So I am not his first victim. He's still my favorite professor, even though he just embarrassed the living daylights out of me.

So yeah, that just happened. And when something embarrassing happens, instead of pretending it never happened, I posted it on here... like a crazy person. A crazy person that mentioned her lack of a sex life to her professor out of embarrassment and is now blasting it on her blog.


Wow. I really need to see a doctor. I think I might be crazy.