New Bible Denial

So about a week ago, Chavo and I were walking around Lifeway because we were looking for a couples devotional to use. There I was, minding my own business, wondering if “The Love and Respect Experience” was any better than “The Love Dare: a 365 day devotional for couples”. And then Chavo said “We need to look for you a new bible. A Women’s devotional bible.”

My response: “But uh.. uh… I have a bible.”

Chavo: But it’s a student devotional bible. You aren’t a student anymore. You really ought to have a bible more catered to women.

Me: But.. But.. It’s a bible. I like my bible. It’s my bible.

I struggled with this for a little while. Why do I need a new bible? My bible is perfectly good. And it’s MY bible. I have like, stuff written into it. Personal stuff. I have notes and underlines of verses that rock and those that I don’t understand. I’ve had this bible for 3 years, the whole time I’ve been in college. It’s been through 4 Guatemala trips. It got shredded once by my dog, and I bought an exact replica of the bible and copied all of my previous notes and underlines into it (through some major ugly tears). That bible has been with me through crisis after crisis, doubt after doubt, through crazy rebellious faith issues and choosing to become a seminary wife. How can I cast aside my bible for some shiny, new bible?

My friends and I have talked about our bibles. We love them, they are our friends. Your bible isn’t going to walk away from you whenever you do something stupid, it’s going to help you point it out and fix it. It will sometimes even tell you how to fix it! Your bible isn’t going to ask you to come out drinking because you had a fight with your boyfriend, or help you let the air out of your professor’s tires when he gives you a bad grade.

My bible was beautiful and scarred, and though not quite “falling apart”, it was mine and it was clearly used.

But a bible is a bible, and while I had many adventures (and even met my husband) with my old bible, I am in a new segment of my life and will have a ton of new adventures with my new bible. I’ll go on mission trips with the Chavo with my new bible. I’m going to read my bible when we have children. I’m going to have this bible until it falls apart in my hands. Or at least until it gets shredded by my dog, and I have to go buy an exact replica of it and copy all of my junk down into it.

And so, Chavo ordered me a new bible. It came in yesterday. It’s still shiny and new, and the pages make that weird “new bible super-thin pages” noise when you open it. It’s got a ton of pink in it, which at first made me skeptical. But then I remembered, ‘wait, I like pink. It’s just my old bible was blue on the inside. That’s why it’s weird.’ Granted, it’s almost the exact same version of my old bible, I couldn’t deal with much change. My old bible was an Italian duo-tone leather cover (blue and green) student devotional bible by Zondervan. But this one is an Italian duo-tone leather cover (brown and pink) WOMEN’S devotional bible.

I’m trying to not look at it like some weird bible that adults use when they get old and boring. I’m still trying to think of myself as a Woman, not a Girl. It’s weird.  I miss my old bible, I put a lot of investment into that bible. But now, I have to make an investment in this new bible. 

Maybe if it just looks inviting, like an old friend, instead of a new gate. I just need to break it in, make it look loved. I don’t want people to think I never read my bible!

Maybe if I go stick it in the dryer for a few minutes….